What I Wish I Did

Year 1
1 English II (G)
2 World Geography
3 Geometry (G)
4 Physical Science (H)
5 Career Orientation | Civics
6 PE I
7 Spanish I

Year 2
1 English III (APG)
2 World History (H?)
3 Algebra II (G)
4 Biology I (H)
5 PE II | Health
6 Spanish II
7 Talented Theater

Year 3
1 English IV (APG)
2 American History (H)
3 Advanced Math (APG)
4 Chemistry I (H)
5 Free Enterprise |
6 Talented Theater
7

College - Delgado Community College - Theater

I found that at UCF, if you didn't take 2 years of a foreign language in high school, which I think I've heard, you take like 4, but I think here 8 - 10 semesters of a foreign language in college.

Looking up to Other Races

So, saying you're German is the race issue because the Jews settled there and spread.  They seem more English when you think about it.  I guess they're pretty German.  It seems like Germans are made to feel they're Chinese but like most humans don't want to be mean to them because then they'll feel more Chinese.  They probably should get into the other cultures, Chinese and Middle Eastern, like the people with long noses in the desert, the Pakis, which was maybe more considered the Near East but isn't.

So the catch phrase sound of "talking about your race" sounds like saying you're German because they seem the most proud but like it's an issue.  I guess the Jews wanted to go to a nice country for their label.  I have something interesting, a race that's Swiss and Swiss-Jewish.  However, the Swiss race is spread out.  I am not sure, though, of either.  The Germans also look up to other countries.  They're like the new Italy.  I guess that's because they're further south than what they loo up to.  Funny the northern countries seem to not have anything but animals up north to look up to.

Talking About My Race

It seems I don't need to say I'm Native American because the Native American side is the blond side and is not from my mom and as a little girl I was raised by my mom, just petted and eventually intellectualized with my dad for American things.  Oh, it was because it seems that it's because it's less than ¼.

See, I know, because, like, I mean, - *sniffle sniffle* - people are worried about people with Native American and now it's about people with a lot but maybe also "so we can really see it."  It's something very funny... They want to know all about mixed people!.  If someone has a parent with exactly ½ Native American, then, you know about having a parent with some white, just representing the parent I guess ... didn't think of that, was just thinking that ½ meant not as good as Chinese.  That meant that you know about maybe also 1 parent having some but not as little as possible for some reason.  It seems that when you have as little as possible like me maybe you just know that you have a sort of label issue.  The only problem would be meeting someone with more Native American.  Then, you think about something else, maybe like you're not attractive, not young, usually part German which usually has Jewish.  I guess that would be anti-Chinese.

Inhuman! 30

I found that maybe I was inhuman, but I thought of Europeans thinking the Chinese were not white and then having hands like black people.  Jews do, too.  Helena Bonham Carter had interesting hands and is actually part Spanish, as well as Spanish Jew.

Expecting

Why do I feel myself expecting a Spanish girl who is part Spanish and part white like she is something but will find that the other girl is also something but that the new girl is not not something?  Maybe, her grandma's Choctaw parent is anti-Chinese.

Anywhere

I don't like anywhere around Pennsylvania, and Pennsylvania is the home of the mixed indians.

I found an indian I like.

I might be part Swiss (a certain people of the region) and Swiss-Jew.

link

Talent

I listened to "The Dancing Queen" and just realized they sound black.  They sound dexterous at the end but like with no life no life, Americans.  They need to fill themselves up at some point in time.  8|

Distributing Tasks

Think about old, white English men going too far and young German boys or part German boys maybe part Jewish or indian too?  Like they make a joke out of the girls born in 1960.  They just want to go on and talk all about how good the experience is and say you'll get a chance to be juicy and strong and attractive, in some certain way.  The white kids gave the black people the job to announce to you you're a nigger.  It really distresses kids.  We have to find out, is this person like all Scandinavian?  Part German-Jewish?  Most adults are part German-Jewish.  I don't know if they feel more or something.  Europeans are racist.  Like, they have like benefits, are told their extremities are pretty.  My feet grew 2 sizes, and I mean it's funny but it's not.  I can't get them smaller.  The thing is you see what they really do and then you realize what they really do when you're not there though you know you were not there in the example you saw, too.  I'm also guessing I had a lighter schedule when I was in high school and still couldn't finish all my homework, I might be healthier, like no ballet once a week, no teen gymnastics, took regular gymnastics in the summer.

Being Modern as Kids

So, it seems that I would look younger than most girls.  I guess most girls have a mom born in like 1955, you know thinking of girls born in the mid-late 80s.  They tend to be made to seem tacky from their dad being born probably in like 1947 or 1948.  It just seems that their aunts think they are tacky like their dad, seem kinda old but not "goood" in a European way.  They don't care as long as they're "still" "better" than certain peers, and then people like Tim Burton dwell on it and it wastes our lives in the end, like everything else seems to have done, though along the way of course we enjoy certain things a lot that are special.  I just feel that some people want to be like fairies and aren't strong, like a "tub of lard."  Maybe, they're not modern in a good way, lazy, have a stored fuel and still fight for certain rights that aren't there.  They don't deal with what they have.  I guess they'd become jealous about not feeling special, something they seem to have still not been able to overcome, to accept that there are a lot of shitty people not born around 1960, specifically 1957-1961.  All I could say is that I have more meat than younger kids and believe that kids my age should have become like them in the *** ways.  You know, they just "did it" as the dream in case we did it, too, and for some reason you know it doesn't have to happen though to me it still happens.

More Recent Parents (Ancestors)

I wish I still had these pictures, not even sure where I got them, but I had attractive ancestors.  My dad's mom's mom, when she was little, while not pretty but not disgusting really, looked like sorta spunkily attractive and had a white blonde sister with straight short hair and a cute look with squinty eyes that seems a popular desire today, kinda more on the big side, cozying with this sister, strangely.. probably like a nice great aunt.  When she grew older, she looked similar, seemed a little naughty like some relatives, who probably would not be that way today..  She got a little older, and her hair was smooth and the way mine gets lighter was lighter and she looked Dutch.  She got a very think, nasal look.  I saw 1 picture from afar of her sitting on a rocker on her porch with some of her kids, 1 with white curly hair, and like putting out her arm, looking all smooth and pristine and perfect.  I'm not sure which side had the ancestor from I think SW NY state.  Hm, I only would know about a side that might be indian and Polish-Jewish and German-French-Swiss-Austrian-Leichtensteiner.  The other side is the Work side.  My dad's dad's side had more money and didn't live on a farm, were normal people.  There's nothing really wrong with the possibly indian side.  Except it was gold hair.  I feel that's why no one talks to me because I might be indian.  As for the Chinese side, I really don't know.  I think it's just a fact that wants to be glossed over.  I don't know though, I mean, I also just have 1 Chinese side.  It might mean I have like more than 1 indian side in some certain way.  As for being Jewish, I doubt my friends are Jewish unless they are very German.  I'm just guessing that I'm again being judged for who my dad is, but I think it's something about the blood that makes you feel like it's what makes you who you are and that as a European you're nothing.  I feel like I hide behind it, but you know I'm my own person and I feel that I'm more associated with my dad than my grandma and probably like her recent parents.

Brothers and Sisters

So, why would I be like my brother and my dad's youngest sister not have to be shit like her siblings?  *BEEP*  Or that's ridiculous!  I don't think people think that she's even okay how she is, like what she does and what she claims is right.

I don't know why you'd say that it's all cut off at a point like the 80s.  About people born at a time when they got what they needed because it's when media finally began to emerge.  Like artsy entertainment.  People became fullout quirky, but they weren't supposed to.  Now, I want to be refined but my dad bites and claws at me like a bear emotionally and will never talk it out nor stop when I have him drive me somewhere in Orlando or the area.  I mean, I deserve to get what I need, and I'd still see him, anyway.  I'd see stuff around the house.  Him driving me makes me forget things, but I tend to forget when I see other people, as well.  Simply put, it's also nice to have him drive me, and sometimes I'd want to see him.  It's just that I can't really drive everywhere.  He drives me to the mall, to the grocery and even does the groceries for me.  It's just that I deserve to be driven, and I mean why should he stop me?  I want to learn to drive, but my life has been too hard.  I still don't feel like that well, haven't practiced, don't always have the car, like to go to school.  Then, I don't have a car.  I've tried to get 2 temporary Christmas jobs over the past 5 years working in popular, fancy stuff.  1 was to be given to someone in need, and the other seemed to want experience.  I just am not lucky in Orlando but was accepted in Slidell with quite a guarantee...  I would drive if I had a car.  I often am asleep when my parents are home or probably don't feel relaxed.  So, it's $4 for a van, and I sleep on it.  That's a long way but I think maybe a set fare.  It seems like a lot now, could pay for other things.  My college is just a loan, now.  That's why I don't take other classes.  I used to do ballet, a long time ago.  I had to pay before with my working money even at 15.  So...

So, I was wondering why people are not ready to accept you for who your dad is.  People have been like to the world's end fortifying or glorifying the worth of their dads and moms racially.  I mean, I just don't want to be my dad, I don't want to be my brother, and with my mom I mean she's nicer and not as nasty, really, can't stand my dad and brother as much, just didn't know them as much early on.  You might want to consider me just another person who deserves something in life and who does what she does and shouldn't be told she doesn't do what she doesn't do.  I don't know why my dad's face is so big.  Maybe, he is just being silly for my mom, but that was not something I had to do.  With other men, I guess it's interesting.  They want to know about the age of my dad, the younger 1s..  I find that a bit obvious.  They don't talk about it.  I mean, it's not like the best, maybe, and if it is you should respect it.  Before my dad worked as much, I mean he seemed kinda aloof, and that is NOT something young girls do.

Mad

So, I was thinking okay if I can't stay in the Voice for the Actor class, the other class Ginny teaches this semester, at Valencia..  My enrollment at Seminole doesn't work, and 2 or 3 times over a period of over a year or 2, Seminole has not gotten transcripts from 1 or more maybe main schools.  I was just upset because people are acting like it was planned and isn't because of me losing Florida residency and my dad not feeling like paying for more than 2 classes.

He paid the 1st day, but then he told my mom to take me out after and I don't know why.  No, I don't think we got in any fights.  I came home happy.  I think he paid for all of it because he thought I wouldn't listen and wasn't attending the class.  He borrowed money, and they paid.

Also, I went home and went online and then went to bed on the couch without even taking out my contacts.  Now, my right eye doesn't see as well, feels kinda dead but like it's recovering from something, like the stress.  It feels like I have a fuzzy contact on it, was just in the bathtub for 3½ hours.  I saw the bedroom door was closed and the microwave was on.  I'm kinda upset because I talked about seeing the spas with my mom, and it's because my mom used to work there.  I just don't go into shit like that.  Also, now, might be the time to add she wants to take class from Ginny.  My mom and dad have a problem.  They are suggesting in some way I may want to be like my brother and that I'm just lucky and now don't deserve it and that my brother is my twin.  They are the 1s who are more like my brother.  Ginny is just gonna think that I'm mixed, but isn't that stupid?

My suspicion is that Ginny...

(going to eat)

"Born and Bred in the Briar Patch"

Something funny is my friend from Florida came over to the New Orleans area and she secretly in a cute way that's kinda funny to speculate|spectacle on made a splash in the area and seems like she's from there kinda.  Hm.  This could be serious.  I think Tim Burton knows.  I think the whole world knows about my 2 old best friends who wouldn't talk to me anymore and who were both mean to me maybe it's okay and maybe it's justified to me.  It did make me mad just because I had no one else I could get to know as well.  I was mad otherwise.  At the younger 1 I fought back, like talked to her in a mimicy, nasty, cutting way it felt, more just was nagging, though.  The other 1 scared me.  I think the other 1 yea asked if I was "gay."  I think the other 1 wanted to call me a nigger because her mom is Lithuanian and her dad is all British.

Speaking of the title of my post, as I was walking worried that the Country Bear Jamboree just isn't funny anymore and before it was like I mean it knocked me out!  I could not stand coming here later on!  It seemed like it was made after the New Orleans area.  Maybe it was specifically spirited after the city I lived in and maybe like for example Pearl River possibly in some way.  I mean, there's also this place called like Bugaloosa a professor of English in honors in college in New Orleans talked about, had a small house, showed pictures of his granddaughter doing violin I think, had a maybe like greyhound type dog but not a greyhound, which I read a kid's book on a big fat messy-looking witch had 1 and ate it and was gonna ask to eat the horse of the guy, too, I mean he had the dog, maybe found this dunno where probably in the nation's oldest continuing city.

My Day

So, in the bus, I was thinking I was Chinese and made like a big face with a dropped jaw.  I realized I can have a cute cheekline.  3}

In class, it was neat.  I got a Wait-A-Minute, large, chocolate, a dietary supplement, a light shake, very cute, a little on the icy side.  However, I went to the bathroom after my presentation, went between classes, and went again soon after the 2nd class started and a few times before in not as spread apart a time.  My presentation I showed the keychain my mom finally gave me with keys to the house and then I decided to go outside finally again, of the Disney Beach Resort where she used to teach yoga on Sunday mornings, didn't mention her teaching, tried to mention like seeing the spas, how you go and then it's like something you're supposed to do and then you just like do it.  I said it was so funny, I've lived here so long, didn't go to Disney World much, not as magical, not from the New Orleans area but moved here from there and how funny it was because I think they had a normal gym.

We crossed the floor a lot, the teacher presented herself like a ballerina.  I just wonder if it feels good to be her height, assuming she's like 5'3½".  She seems very mobile.  I can tell from certain things, like how she wore the shoes with the leather on the top of the toes with a cloth pattern, before plaid and now cheetah, that she is like digging into the Orlando culture a lot and is an active long-time member of the community and very happy here.  She's from San Fransisco.  Well, the area.  I think she has more Pennsylvania heritage but lived the modern life for some reason more than me.  It must be painful to have heritage in a place like:

Pennsylvania
Maryland
W Virginia
North Carolina
South Carolina
Georgia
Alabamba
Mississippi
Tennessee
Kentucky
Arkansas (never knew it was there..)
Missouri
Iowa
Texas
Oklahoma
Kansas (That's a state?)
Nebraska
The Dakotas
NM
Utah?
Michigan
Alaska
Hawaii

The places that look okay are:
•certain places of Florida and maybe some parts of Florida itself could do something dunno
•the New Orleans area
•New York
•New England
•New Jersey
•California

Canada is decidedly anit-American, and Latin America is disagreeable culturally, like appreciating culture in a European way, like Americans.
•Iregan
•Nevada
•Ugah
•Colorado
•Wyoming
•Montana
•Minnesota
•Idaho
•Oregon
•Washington
•Wisconsin

Yes, the black people here seem too casual and have seeped into the culture.  I realized that white people have let them into their lives.

Class Today

Also, there was a girl who had been to a church in England and she seemed kinda delicate but like saucy like Irish.  Saucy is also a sensitive word that can be used in various manners.

So, I was gonna say something else I forgot.

It seems the blonde was disturbed but took charge.  People were getting emotional, upset I might not be in Voice.  I’m already not enrolled and like the other classes.  I probably will stay but maybe it’s not safe and I won’t for some reason maybe.

I was just worried the blonde, like sorta wavy blonde, was kinda like drained and hollow and took charge like Ginny but seemed mad.  Like, she isn’t even the same person.  I think people were jealous I know the teacher from awhile talking online.

Glitch

So, what's this people being flattered by their younger siblings?  I grew up tested to be like my brother and I don't like who he is, just think he's nice like everyone else.  He is the opposite of me, does not look European.  People think I'm only worth it because I'm young.  He acts like I have the same problems.  He sometimes seemed gregarious and when he was very little, like before he was in school a long time ... this 1 time in a school play he was like messing around with our mom, was sick and didn't want to do it, was 3, was Joseph, the hero, for the Nativity.  Why does that sound like me?  ':[  I can't say I was always cook before he was born nor in pre-school.  I only looked cute kinda the day before.  It's funny, yes, he was pampered more as being right, which was probably bad for him.  People acted like in college like it didn't matter emotionally.  People think I'm like puppeted to be all that I am.  He's like total shit to me.  I'm serious!  :0  He doesn't even seem human, does not think white at all, is just a machine and slightly pleasure object.  I'm not saying I think he deserves to be mistreated nor that he's bad, worse than anyone else.  I don't appreciate people thinking they're more European when they look like him to me.  I don't know what's been going on.  I've been trying to get on my track in life, despite what the whole world is like compared to me.  What about Johnny Depp and Lily Rose?  Aren't they something, not just some mistake, some error, some glitch like in the game?

Joker

What's so funny?

"The joker's a wild..."  30  ♫

I mean isn't it serious that you look solid and European and are mobile and have everything in place?

Being Normal and Not White

Why would you not be allowed to be good if you're not white-