More Recent Parents (Ancestors)

I wish I still had these pictures, not even sure where I got them, but I had attractive ancestors.  My dad's mom's mom, when she was little, while not pretty but not disgusting really, looked like sorta spunkily attractive and had a white blonde sister with straight short hair and a cute look with squinty eyes that seems a popular desire today, kinda more on the big side, cozying with this sister, strangely.. probably like a nice great aunt.  When she grew older, she looked similar, seemed a little naughty like some relatives, who probably would not be that way today..  She got a little older, and her hair was smooth and the way mine gets lighter was lighter and she looked Dutch.  She got a very think, nasal look.  I saw 1 picture from afar of her sitting on a rocker on her porch with some of her kids, 1 with white curly hair, and like putting out her arm, looking all smooth and pristine and perfect.  I'm not sure which side had the ancestor from I think SW NY state.  Hm, I only would know about a side that might be indian and Polish-Jewish and German-French-Swiss-Austrian-Leichtensteiner.  The other side is the Work side.  My dad's dad's side had more money and didn't live on a farm, were normal people.  There's nothing really wrong with the possibly indian side.  Except it was gold hair.  I feel that's why no one talks to me because I might be indian.  As for the Chinese side, I really don't know.  I think it's just a fact that wants to be glossed over.  I don't know though, I mean, I also just have 1 Chinese side.  It might mean I have like more than 1 indian side in some certain way.  As for being Jewish, I doubt my friends are Jewish unless they are very German.  I'm just guessing that I'm again being judged for who my dad is, but I think it's something about the blood that makes you feel like it's what makes you who you are and that as a European you're nothing.  I feel like I hide behind it, but you know I'm my own person and I feel that I'm more associated with my dad than my grandma and probably like her recent parents.