I look more like my dad's youngest sister than my brother. People from up north had a gay side.
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Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
More Recent Parents (Ancestors)
I wish I still had these pictures, not even sure where I got them, but I had attractive ancestors. My dad's mom's mom, when she was little, while not pretty but not disgusting really, looked like sorta spunkily attractive and had a white blonde sister with straight short hair and a cute look with squinty eyes that seems a popular desire today, kinda more on the big side, cozying with this sister, strangely.. probably like a nice great aunt. When she grew older, she looked similar, seemed a little naughty like some relatives, who probably would not be that way today.. She got a little older, and her hair was smooth and the way mine gets lighter was lighter and she looked Dutch. She got a very think, nasal look. I saw 1 picture from afar of her sitting on a rocker on her porch with some of her kids, 1 with white curly hair, and like putting out her arm, looking all smooth and pristine and perfect. I'm not sure which side had the ancestor from I think SW NY state. Hm, I only would know about a side that might be indian and Polish-Jewish and German-French-Swiss-Austrian-Leichtensteiner. The other side is the Work side. My dad's dad's side had more money and didn't live on a farm, were normal people. There's nothing really wrong with the possibly indian side. Except it was gold hair. I feel that's why no one talks to me because I might be indian. As for the Chinese side, I really don't know. I think it's just a fact that wants to be glossed over. I don't know though, I mean, I also just have 1 Chinese side. It might mean I have like more than 1 indian side in some certain way. As for being Jewish, I doubt my friends are Jewish unless they are very German. I'm just guessing that I'm again being judged for who my dad is, but I think it's something about the blood that makes you feel like it's what makes you who you are and that as a European you're nothing. I feel like I hide behind it, but you know I'm my own person and I feel that I'm more associated with my dad than my grandma and probably like her recent parents.
Brothers and Sisters
So, why would I be like my brother and my dad's youngest sister not have to be shit like her siblings? *BEEP* Or that's ridiculous! I don't think people think that she's even okay how she is, like what she does and what she claims is right.
I don't know why you'd say that it's all cut off at a point like the 80s. About people born at a time when they got what they needed because it's when media finally began to emerge. Like artsy entertainment. People became fullout quirky, but they weren't supposed to. Now, I want to be refined but my dad bites and claws at me like a bear emotionally and will never talk it out nor stop when I have him drive me somewhere in Orlando or the area. I mean, I deserve to get what I need, and I'd still see him, anyway. I'd see stuff around the house. Him driving me makes me forget things, but I tend to forget when I see other people, as well. Simply put, it's also nice to have him drive me, and sometimes I'd want to see him. It's just that I can't really drive everywhere. He drives me to the mall, to the grocery and even does the groceries for me. It's just that I deserve to be driven, and I mean why should he stop me? I want to learn to drive, but my life has been too hard. I still don't feel like that well, haven't practiced, don't always have the car, like to go to school. Then, I don't have a car. I've tried to get 2 temporary Christmas jobs over the past 5 years working in popular, fancy stuff. 1 was to be given to someone in need, and the other seemed to want experience. I just am not lucky in Orlando but was accepted in Slidell with quite a guarantee... I would drive if I had a car. I often am asleep when my parents are home or probably don't feel relaxed. So, it's $4 for a van, and I sleep on it. That's a long way but I think maybe a set fare. It seems like a lot now, could pay for other things. My college is just a loan, now. That's why I don't take other classes. I used to do ballet, a long time ago. I had to pay before with my working money even at 15. So...
So, I was wondering why people are not ready to accept you for who your dad is. People have been like to the world's end fortifying or glorifying the worth of their dads and moms racially. I mean, I just don't want to be my dad, I don't want to be my brother, and with my mom I mean she's nicer and not as nasty, really, can't stand my dad and brother as much, just didn't know them as much early on. You might want to consider me just another person who deserves something in life and who does what she does and shouldn't be told she doesn't do what she doesn't do. I don't know why my dad's face is so big. Maybe, he is just being silly for my mom, but that was not something I had to do. With other men, I guess it's interesting. They want to know about the age of my dad, the younger 1s.. I find that a bit obvious. They don't talk about it. I mean, it's not like the best, maybe, and if it is you should respect it. Before my dad worked as much, I mean he seemed kinda aloof, and that is NOT something young girls do.
I don't know why you'd say that it's all cut off at a point like the 80s. About people born at a time when they got what they needed because it's when media finally began to emerge. Like artsy entertainment. People became fullout quirky, but they weren't supposed to. Now, I want to be refined but my dad bites and claws at me like a bear emotionally and will never talk it out nor stop when I have him drive me somewhere in Orlando or the area. I mean, I deserve to get what I need, and I'd still see him, anyway. I'd see stuff around the house. Him driving me makes me forget things, but I tend to forget when I see other people, as well. Simply put, it's also nice to have him drive me, and sometimes I'd want to see him. It's just that I can't really drive everywhere. He drives me to the mall, to the grocery and even does the groceries for me. It's just that I deserve to be driven, and I mean why should he stop me? I want to learn to drive, but my life has been too hard. I still don't feel like that well, haven't practiced, don't always have the car, like to go to school. Then, I don't have a car. I've tried to get 2 temporary Christmas jobs over the past 5 years working in popular, fancy stuff. 1 was to be given to someone in need, and the other seemed to want experience. I just am not lucky in Orlando but was accepted in Slidell with quite a guarantee... I would drive if I had a car. I often am asleep when my parents are home or probably don't feel relaxed. So, it's $4 for a van, and I sleep on it. That's a long way but I think maybe a set fare. It seems like a lot now, could pay for other things. My college is just a loan, now. That's why I don't take other classes. I used to do ballet, a long time ago. I had to pay before with my working money even at 15. So...
So, I was wondering why people are not ready to accept you for who your dad is. People have been like to the world's end fortifying or glorifying the worth of their dads and moms racially. I mean, I just don't want to be my dad, I don't want to be my brother, and with my mom I mean she's nicer and not as nasty, really, can't stand my dad and brother as much, just didn't know them as much early on. You might want to consider me just another person who deserves something in life and who does what she does and shouldn't be told she doesn't do what she doesn't do. I don't know why my dad's face is so big. Maybe, he is just being silly for my mom, but that was not something I had to do. With other men, I guess it's interesting. They want to know about the age of my dad, the younger 1s.. I find that a bit obvious. They don't talk about it. I mean, it's not like the best, maybe, and if it is you should respect it. Before my dad worked as much, I mean he seemed kinda aloof, and that is NOT something young girls do.
Mad
My mom was out eating and I just wanted to keep on my ear plugs, maybe thought it would be my dad, who can't control himself around me, like Tim Burton, and I want a life and I want to live forever, and I felt like I could be young forever. I felt like other beings existed, I was having a lot of fun..
I was upset, and I found it was because she wanted to do something because I didn't feel like taking out my ear plugs. She just isn't tactual, claims I burnt out and did something at 11, it feels, and just makes my life shit. Also, she acts like I have to **** my dad. I was just mad that she keeps thinking I "am" like him all of a sudden when that wasn't what I said. People keep going ahead of me and doing things thinking I am not nice when they just say I am too nice. I don't think that's anything like me. I do what I'm supposed to, and people have an option to react to me or leave me alone and let me succeed. So, if she's mean, I just say she's shit. I mean, my parents used to act nice. Their only thing is when like you get better from feeling like shit, but my brother keeps wanting to think he's better than me and I guess that's just not something that "is" me.
I was upset, and I found it was because she wanted to do something because I didn't feel like taking out my ear plugs. She just isn't tactual, claims I burnt out and did something at 11, it feels, and just makes my life shit. Also, she acts like I have to **** my dad. I was just mad that she keeps thinking I "am" like him all of a sudden when that wasn't what I said. People keep going ahead of me and doing things thinking I am not nice when they just say I am too nice. I don't think that's anything like me. I do what I'm supposed to, and people have an option to react to me or leave me alone and let me succeed. So, if she's mean, I just say she's shit. I mean, my parents used to act nice. Their only thing is when like you get better from feeling like shit, but my brother keeps wanting to think he's better than me and I guess that's just not something that "is" me.
Mad
So, I was thinking okay if I can't stay in the Voice for the Actor class, the other class Ginny teaches this semester, at Valencia.. My enrollment at Seminole doesn't work, and 2 or 3 times over a period of over a year or 2, Seminole has not gotten transcripts from 1 or more maybe main schools. I was just upset because people are acting like it was planned and isn't because of me losing Florida residency and my dad not feeling like paying for more than 2 classes.
He paid the 1st day, but then he told my mom to take me out after and I don't know why. No, I don't think we got in any fights. I came home happy. I think he paid for all of it because he thought I wouldn't listen and wasn't attending the class. He borrowed money, and they paid.
Also, I went home and went online and then went to bed on the couch without even taking out my contacts. Now, my right eye doesn't see as well, feels kinda dead but like it's recovering from something, like the stress. It feels like I have a fuzzy contact on it, was just in the bathtub for 3½ hours. I saw the bedroom door was closed and the microwave was on. I'm kinda upset because I talked about seeing the spas with my mom, and it's because my mom used to work there. I just don't go into shit like that. Also, now, might be the time to add she wants to take class from Ginny. My mom and dad have a problem. They are suggesting in some way I may want to be like my brother and that I'm just lucky and now don't deserve it and that my brother is my twin. They are the 1s who are more like my brother. Ginny is just gonna think that I'm mixed, but isn't that stupid?
My suspicion is that Ginny...
(going to eat)
He paid the 1st day, but then he told my mom to take me out after and I don't know why. No, I don't think we got in any fights. I came home happy. I think he paid for all of it because he thought I wouldn't listen and wasn't attending the class. He borrowed money, and they paid.
Also, I went home and went online and then went to bed on the couch without even taking out my contacts. Now, my right eye doesn't see as well, feels kinda dead but like it's recovering from something, like the stress. It feels like I have a fuzzy contact on it, was just in the bathtub for 3½ hours. I saw the bedroom door was closed and the microwave was on. I'm kinda upset because I talked about seeing the spas with my mom, and it's because my mom used to work there. I just don't go into shit like that. Also, now, might be the time to add she wants to take class from Ginny. My mom and dad have a problem. They are suggesting in some way I may want to be like my brother and that I'm just lucky and now don't deserve it and that my brother is my twin. They are the 1s who are more like my brother. Ginny is just gonna think that I'm mixed, but isn't that stupid?
My suspicion is that Ginny...
(going to eat)
Honorary Denizen
So, if my dad's heritage was all from Florida, I would be welcome, or from California. Or 1 of the places I listed, not Pennsylvania.
"The Question"
I was wondering why when my family moved from Southeastern and Northeastern Florida to the New Orleans area that my dad got fatter and then looked like so stony, you know? I kinda looked like a rock, but my eyes didn't crystallize with it. They used to go haywire.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Watcha Wheely Wheely Want
My little brother thinks he's out there in the family so he has his say, I just remembered my mom got him to do that. Well, I do want to be a good sacred singer.
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