Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mom. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Brothers and Sisters

So, why would I be like my brother and my dad's youngest sister not have to be shit like her siblings?  *BEEP*  Or that's ridiculous!  I don't think people think that she's even okay how she is, like what she does and what she claims is right.

I don't know why you'd say that it's all cut off at a point like the 80s.  About people born at a time when they got what they needed because it's when media finally began to emerge.  Like artsy entertainment.  People became fullout quirky, but they weren't supposed to.  Now, I want to be refined but my dad bites and claws at me like a bear emotionally and will never talk it out nor stop when I have him drive me somewhere in Orlando or the area.  I mean, I deserve to get what I need, and I'd still see him, anyway.  I'd see stuff around the house.  Him driving me makes me forget things, but I tend to forget when I see other people, as well.  Simply put, it's also nice to have him drive me, and sometimes I'd want to see him.  It's just that I can't really drive everywhere.  He drives me to the mall, to the grocery and even does the groceries for me.  It's just that I deserve to be driven, and I mean why should he stop me?  I want to learn to drive, but my life has been too hard.  I still don't feel like that well, haven't practiced, don't always have the car, like to go to school.  Then, I don't have a car.  I've tried to get 2 temporary Christmas jobs over the past 5 years working in popular, fancy stuff.  1 was to be given to someone in need, and the other seemed to want experience.  I just am not lucky in Orlando but was accepted in Slidell with quite a guarantee...  I would drive if I had a car.  I often am asleep when my parents are home or probably don't feel relaxed.  So, it's $4 for a van, and I sleep on it.  That's a long way but I think maybe a set fare.  It seems like a lot now, could pay for other things.  My college is just a loan, now.  That's why I don't take other classes.  I used to do ballet, a long time ago.  I had to pay before with my working money even at 15.  So...

So, I was wondering why people are not ready to accept you for who your dad is.  People have been like to the world's end fortifying or glorifying the worth of their dads and moms racially.  I mean, I just don't want to be my dad, I don't want to be my brother, and with my mom I mean she's nicer and not as nasty, really, can't stand my dad and brother as much, just didn't know them as much early on.  You might want to consider me just another person who deserves something in life and who does what she does and shouldn't be told she doesn't do what she doesn't do.  I don't know why my dad's face is so big.  Maybe, he is just being silly for my mom, but that was not something I had to do.  With other men, I guess it's interesting.  They want to know about the age of my dad, the younger 1s..  I find that a bit obvious.  They don't talk about it.  I mean, it's not like the best, maybe, and if it is you should respect it.  Before my dad worked as much, I mean he seemed kinda aloof, and that is NOT something young girls do.

Mad

My mom was out eating and I just wanted to keep on my ear plugs, maybe thought it would be my dad, who can't control himself around me, like Tim Burton, and I want a life and I want to live forever, and I felt like I could be young forever.  I felt like other beings existed, I was having a lot of fun..

I was upset, and I found it was because she wanted to do something because I didn't feel like taking out my ear plugs.  She just isn't tactual, claims I burnt out and did something at 11, it feels, and just makes my life shit.  Also, she acts like I have to **** my dad.  I was just mad that she keeps thinking I "am" like him all of a sudden when that wasn't what I said.  People keep going ahead of me and doing things thinking I am not nice when they just say I am too nice.  I don't think that's anything like me.  I do what I'm supposed to, and people have an option to react to me or leave me alone and let me succeed.  So, if she's mean, I just say she's shit.  I mean, my parents used to act nice.  Their only thing is when like you get better from feeling like shit, but my brother keeps wanting to think he's better than me and I guess that's just not something that "is" me.

Mad

So, I was thinking okay if I can't stay in the Voice for the Actor class, the other class Ginny teaches this semester, at Valencia..  My enrollment at Seminole doesn't work, and 2 or 3 times over a period of over a year or 2, Seminole has not gotten transcripts from 1 or more maybe main schools.  I was just upset because people are acting like it was planned and isn't because of me losing Florida residency and my dad not feeling like paying for more than 2 classes.

He paid the 1st day, but then he told my mom to take me out after and I don't know why.  No, I don't think we got in any fights.  I came home happy.  I think he paid for all of it because he thought I wouldn't listen and wasn't attending the class.  He borrowed money, and they paid.

Also, I went home and went online and then went to bed on the couch without even taking out my contacts.  Now, my right eye doesn't see as well, feels kinda dead but like it's recovering from something, like the stress.  It feels like I have a fuzzy contact on it, was just in the bathtub for 3½ hours.  I saw the bedroom door was closed and the microwave was on.  I'm kinda upset because I talked about seeing the spas with my mom, and it's because my mom used to work there.  I just don't go into shit like that.  Also, now, might be the time to add she wants to take class from Ginny.  My mom and dad have a problem.  They are suggesting in some way I may want to be like my brother and that I'm just lucky and now don't deserve it and that my brother is my twin.  They are the 1s who are more like my brother.  Ginny is just gonna think that I'm mixed, but isn't that stupid?

My suspicion is that Ginny...

(going to eat)

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Watcha Wheely Wheely Want

My little brother thinks he's out there in the family so he has his say, I just remembered my mom got him to do that.  Well, I do want to be a good sacred singer.