I found that maybe I was inhuman, but I thought of Europeans thinking the Chinese were not white and then having hands like black people. Jews do, too. Helena Bonham Carter had interesting hands and is actually part Spanish, as well as Spanish Jew.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Expecting
Why do I feel myself expecting a Spanish girl who is part Spanish and part white like she is something but will find that the other girl is also something but that the new girl is not not something? Maybe, her grandma's Choctaw parent is anti-Chinese.
Anywhere
I don't like anywhere around Pennsylvania, and Pennsylvania is the home of the mixed indians.
Simplicity
I was listening to me "All I Ask of You" from The Phantom of the Opera, and I thought Late Boomers thought well there's something there, thinking how they are more simple than Early Boomers but that the children are diddly squat.
What's Only Precious
I saw a decal on a car, and the 1st ½ seemed so precious and the 2nd ½ I just knew why it wasn't. The only nice thing about people born in 1950 is how precious they are.
Do you wanna rock!
So, do you wanna rock with sexy people from colder parts of the country or sexier parts like the desert?
Talent
I listened to "The Dancing Queen" and just realized they sound black. They sound dexterous at the end but like with no life no life, Americans. They need to fill themselves up at some point in time. 8|
What I'm Doing
Just watched all of Ellen's videos from Tuesday online. Maybe I'm going to bed, maybe jogging with weights, likely doing floor exercises at some point, want to sing, too. Recorded "Dancing Queen" on the radio..
Distributing Tasks
Think about old, white English men going too far and young German boys or part German boys maybe part Jewish or indian too? Like they make a joke out of the girls born in 1960. They just want to go on and talk all about how good the experience is and say you'll get a chance to be juicy and strong and attractive, in some certain way. The white kids gave the black people the job to announce to you you're a nigger. It really distresses kids. We have to find out, is this person like all Scandinavian? Part German-Jewish? Most adults are part German-Jewish. I don't know if they feel more or something. Europeans are racist. Like, they have like benefits, are told their extremities are pretty. My feet grew 2 sizes, and I mean it's funny but it's not. I can't get them smaller. The thing is you see what they really do and then you realize what they really do when you're not there though you know you were not there in the example you saw, too. I'm also guessing I had a lighter schedule when I was in high school and still couldn't finish all my homework, I might be healthier, like no ballet once a week, no teen gymnastics, took regular gymnastics in the summer.
How I Feel
I have to leave at 10 A.M. I'm very tired, will do homework tomorrow maybe. I wanted to sleep in the tub. Went to the therapist, got Panera Bread and didn't like the sandwich. Strawberry low fat smoothie..
Noticing Things
So, today, I've noticed that people say something and conflict patterns. That must be embarrassing, must trust in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Wanting Something That Doesn't Make Sense?
So, you can't tell me I wanted to be like something that doesn't make sense.
Let me think. I don't know anyone with perfect parents, and I've seen lots of brunettes with blonde moms and ugly girls with blonde dads.
Let me think. I don't know anyone with perfect parents, and I've seen lots of brunettes with blonde moms and ugly girls with blonde dads.
Pattern of Stuff
I noticed another pattern. You keep saying stuff is so that isn't so, stuff you promised not to be true and then you say you have to hurt me, and the stuff you said was just stuff I thought I'd want, but that stuff can't be.
My Brother and Aunt
I look more like my dad's youngest sister than my brother. People from up north had a gay side.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Pattern
So, I read my blog and noticed a pattern. I did finally decide to have to take off and recover and I'm not getting a reception because Tim Burton happened, and I don't get it I don't care I'm still special like I was before and can still be special like everyone else has been striving to be, don't need my opportunity taken away from me, not to be done to anybody.
Attractive Baby Boomers
I don't know anyone attractive from 1953 but do 1950 (my dad,) 1951, 1952, 1954, 1957, 1958, 1959, 1960, 1961, 1963.
No Plan, No Eraser
I don't believe in believing in building a planned, perfect situation. Therefore, there is no need to erase the past.
Weird Things
Before, I didn't have to like acknowledge people getting weird feelings, could just go up to people and act like a person, act normal.
I was wondering about Chloë Grace Moretz ...
Did you notice that Ellen DeGeneres has no pity for people from the New Orleans area who aren't from New Orleans?
I was wondering about Chloë Grace Moretz ...
Did you notice that Ellen DeGeneres has no pity for people from the New Orleans area who aren't from New Orleans?
"Sharing"
Funny how famous Late Boomers set out to not let anyone else have fun and don't let them go away and have fun without them. Was gonna say something else I forgot. Figuring out what time I can go to school tomorrow.
Tossing People Aside as *Beep*
Do you ever get ready for the world and toss aside your parents as shit? I have this friend who I am mad with because she thinks she's cool. She has that look like she's from Pennsylvania, but she's not. Not sure where her mom is from. She is mad because others aren't like her and goes off on tangents. Well, have your say, entertain us, come to the party.. Don't tell me not to have a good time when I find you're the only attractive 1 there.
Being Modern as Kids
So, it seems that I would look younger than most girls. I guess most girls have a mom born in like 1955, you know thinking of girls born in the mid-late 80s. They tend to be made to seem tacky from their dad being born probably in like 1947 or 1948. It just seems that their aunts think they are tacky like their dad, seem kinda old but not "goood" in a European way. They don't care as long as they're "still" "better" than certain peers, and then people like Tim Burton dwell on it and it wastes our lives in the end, like everything else seems to have done, though along the way of course we enjoy certain things a lot that are special. I just feel that some people want to be like fairies and aren't strong, like a "tub of lard." Maybe, they're not modern in a good way, lazy, have a stored fuel and still fight for certain rights that aren't there. They don't deal with what they have. I guess they'd become jealous about not feeling special, something they seem to have still not been able to overcome, to accept that there are a lot of shitty people not born around 1960, specifically 1957-1961. All I could say is that I have more meat than younger kids and believe that kids my age should have become like them in the *** ways. You know, they just "did it" as the dream in case we did it, too, and for some reason you know it doesn't have to happen though to me it still happens.
More Recent Parents (Ancestors)
I wish I still had these pictures, not even sure where I got them, but I had attractive ancestors. My dad's mom's mom, when she was little, while not pretty but not disgusting really, looked like sorta spunkily attractive and had a white blonde sister with straight short hair and a cute look with squinty eyes that seems a popular desire today, kinda more on the big side, cozying with this sister, strangely.. probably like a nice great aunt. When she grew older, she looked similar, seemed a little naughty like some relatives, who probably would not be that way today.. She got a little older, and her hair was smooth and the way mine gets lighter was lighter and she looked Dutch. She got a very think, nasal look. I saw 1 picture from afar of her sitting on a rocker on her porch with some of her kids, 1 with white curly hair, and like putting out her arm, looking all smooth and pristine and perfect. I'm not sure which side had the ancestor from I think SW NY state. Hm, I only would know about a side that might be indian and Polish-Jewish and German-French-Swiss-Austrian-Leichtensteiner. The other side is the Work side. My dad's dad's side had more money and didn't live on a farm, were normal people. There's nothing really wrong with the possibly indian side. Except it was gold hair. I feel that's why no one talks to me because I might be indian. As for the Chinese side, I really don't know. I think it's just a fact that wants to be glossed over. I don't know though, I mean, I also just have 1 Chinese side. It might mean I have like more than 1 indian side in some certain way. As for being Jewish, I doubt my friends are Jewish unless they are very German. I'm just guessing that I'm again being judged for who my dad is, but I think it's something about the blood that makes you feel like it's what makes you who you are and that as a European you're nothing. I feel like I hide behind it, but you know I'm my own person and I feel that I'm more associated with my dad than my grandma and probably like her recent parents.
Living in Places You Haven't
What do you think about Floridians saying they "didn't" really care about morals so now are making a big deal of it and can't think about anything else and thinking you can means you're not a true Floridian and pretend you've lived in places you haven't?
Brothers and Sisters
So, why would I be like my brother and my dad's youngest sister not have to be shit like her siblings? *BEEP* Or that's ridiculous! I don't think people think that she's even okay how she is, like what she does and what she claims is right.
I don't know why you'd say that it's all cut off at a point like the 80s. About people born at a time when they got what they needed because it's when media finally began to emerge. Like artsy entertainment. People became fullout quirky, but they weren't supposed to. Now, I want to be refined but my dad bites and claws at me like a bear emotionally and will never talk it out nor stop when I have him drive me somewhere in Orlando or the area. I mean, I deserve to get what I need, and I'd still see him, anyway. I'd see stuff around the house. Him driving me makes me forget things, but I tend to forget when I see other people, as well. Simply put, it's also nice to have him drive me, and sometimes I'd want to see him. It's just that I can't really drive everywhere. He drives me to the mall, to the grocery and even does the groceries for me. It's just that I deserve to be driven, and I mean why should he stop me? I want to learn to drive, but my life has been too hard. I still don't feel like that well, haven't practiced, don't always have the car, like to go to school. Then, I don't have a car. I've tried to get 2 temporary Christmas jobs over the past 5 years working in popular, fancy stuff. 1 was to be given to someone in need, and the other seemed to want experience. I just am not lucky in Orlando but was accepted in Slidell with quite a guarantee... I would drive if I had a car. I often am asleep when my parents are home or probably don't feel relaxed. So, it's $4 for a van, and I sleep on it. That's a long way but I think maybe a set fare. It seems like a lot now, could pay for other things. My college is just a loan, now. That's why I don't take other classes. I used to do ballet, a long time ago. I had to pay before with my working money even at 15. So...
So, I was wondering why people are not ready to accept you for who your dad is. People have been like to the world's end fortifying or glorifying the worth of their dads and moms racially. I mean, I just don't want to be my dad, I don't want to be my brother, and with my mom I mean she's nicer and not as nasty, really, can't stand my dad and brother as much, just didn't know them as much early on. You might want to consider me just another person who deserves something in life and who does what she does and shouldn't be told she doesn't do what she doesn't do. I don't know why my dad's face is so big. Maybe, he is just being silly for my mom, but that was not something I had to do. With other men, I guess it's interesting. They want to know about the age of my dad, the younger 1s.. I find that a bit obvious. They don't talk about it. I mean, it's not like the best, maybe, and if it is you should respect it. Before my dad worked as much, I mean he seemed kinda aloof, and that is NOT something young girls do.
I don't know why you'd say that it's all cut off at a point like the 80s. About people born at a time when they got what they needed because it's when media finally began to emerge. Like artsy entertainment. People became fullout quirky, but they weren't supposed to. Now, I want to be refined but my dad bites and claws at me like a bear emotionally and will never talk it out nor stop when I have him drive me somewhere in Orlando or the area. I mean, I deserve to get what I need, and I'd still see him, anyway. I'd see stuff around the house. Him driving me makes me forget things, but I tend to forget when I see other people, as well. Simply put, it's also nice to have him drive me, and sometimes I'd want to see him. It's just that I can't really drive everywhere. He drives me to the mall, to the grocery and even does the groceries for me. It's just that I deserve to be driven, and I mean why should he stop me? I want to learn to drive, but my life has been too hard. I still don't feel like that well, haven't practiced, don't always have the car, like to go to school. Then, I don't have a car. I've tried to get 2 temporary Christmas jobs over the past 5 years working in popular, fancy stuff. 1 was to be given to someone in need, and the other seemed to want experience. I just am not lucky in Orlando but was accepted in Slidell with quite a guarantee... I would drive if I had a car. I often am asleep when my parents are home or probably don't feel relaxed. So, it's $4 for a van, and I sleep on it. That's a long way but I think maybe a set fare. It seems like a lot now, could pay for other things. My college is just a loan, now. That's why I don't take other classes. I used to do ballet, a long time ago. I had to pay before with my working money even at 15. So...
So, I was wondering why people are not ready to accept you for who your dad is. People have been like to the world's end fortifying or glorifying the worth of their dads and moms racially. I mean, I just don't want to be my dad, I don't want to be my brother, and with my mom I mean she's nicer and not as nasty, really, can't stand my dad and brother as much, just didn't know them as much early on. You might want to consider me just another person who deserves something in life and who does what she does and shouldn't be told she doesn't do what she doesn't do. I don't know why my dad's face is so big. Maybe, he is just being silly for my mom, but that was not something I had to do. With other men, I guess it's interesting. They want to know about the age of my dad, the younger 1s.. I find that a bit obvious. They don't talk about it. I mean, it's not like the best, maybe, and if it is you should respect it. Before my dad worked as much, I mean he seemed kinda aloof, and that is NOT something young girls do.
Mad
My mom was out eating and I just wanted to keep on my ear plugs, maybe thought it would be my dad, who can't control himself around me, like Tim Burton, and I want a life and I want to live forever, and I felt like I could be young forever. I felt like other beings existed, I was having a lot of fun..
I was upset, and I found it was because she wanted to do something because I didn't feel like taking out my ear plugs. She just isn't tactual, claims I burnt out and did something at 11, it feels, and just makes my life shit. Also, she acts like I have to **** my dad. I was just mad that she keeps thinking I "am" like him all of a sudden when that wasn't what I said. People keep going ahead of me and doing things thinking I am not nice when they just say I am too nice. I don't think that's anything like me. I do what I'm supposed to, and people have an option to react to me or leave me alone and let me succeed. So, if she's mean, I just say she's shit. I mean, my parents used to act nice. Their only thing is when like you get better from feeling like shit, but my brother keeps wanting to think he's better than me and I guess that's just not something that "is" me.
I was upset, and I found it was because she wanted to do something because I didn't feel like taking out my ear plugs. She just isn't tactual, claims I burnt out and did something at 11, it feels, and just makes my life shit. Also, she acts like I have to **** my dad. I was just mad that she keeps thinking I "am" like him all of a sudden when that wasn't what I said. People keep going ahead of me and doing things thinking I am not nice when they just say I am too nice. I don't think that's anything like me. I do what I'm supposed to, and people have an option to react to me or leave me alone and let me succeed. So, if she's mean, I just say she's shit. I mean, my parents used to act nice. Their only thing is when like you get better from feeling like shit, but my brother keeps wanting to think he's better than me and I guess that's just not something that "is" me.
Mad
So, I was thinking okay if I can't stay in the Voice for the Actor class, the other class Ginny teaches this semester, at Valencia.. My enrollment at Seminole doesn't work, and 2 or 3 times over a period of over a year or 2, Seminole has not gotten transcripts from 1 or more maybe main schools. I was just upset because people are acting like it was planned and isn't because of me losing Florida residency and my dad not feeling like paying for more than 2 classes.
He paid the 1st day, but then he told my mom to take me out after and I don't know why. No, I don't think we got in any fights. I came home happy. I think he paid for all of it because he thought I wouldn't listen and wasn't attending the class. He borrowed money, and they paid.
Also, I went home and went online and then went to bed on the couch without even taking out my contacts. Now, my right eye doesn't see as well, feels kinda dead but like it's recovering from something, like the stress. It feels like I have a fuzzy contact on it, was just in the bathtub for 3½ hours. I saw the bedroom door was closed and the microwave was on. I'm kinda upset because I talked about seeing the spas with my mom, and it's because my mom used to work there. I just don't go into shit like that. Also, now, might be the time to add she wants to take class from Ginny. My mom and dad have a problem. They are suggesting in some way I may want to be like my brother and that I'm just lucky and now don't deserve it and that my brother is my twin. They are the 1s who are more like my brother. Ginny is just gonna think that I'm mixed, but isn't that stupid?
My suspicion is that Ginny...
(going to eat)
He paid the 1st day, but then he told my mom to take me out after and I don't know why. No, I don't think we got in any fights. I came home happy. I think he paid for all of it because he thought I wouldn't listen and wasn't attending the class. He borrowed money, and they paid.
Also, I went home and went online and then went to bed on the couch without even taking out my contacts. Now, my right eye doesn't see as well, feels kinda dead but like it's recovering from something, like the stress. It feels like I have a fuzzy contact on it, was just in the bathtub for 3½ hours. I saw the bedroom door was closed and the microwave was on. I'm kinda upset because I talked about seeing the spas with my mom, and it's because my mom used to work there. I just don't go into shit like that. Also, now, might be the time to add she wants to take class from Ginny. My mom and dad have a problem. They are suggesting in some way I may want to be like my brother and that I'm just lucky and now don't deserve it and that my brother is my twin. They are the 1s who are more like my brother. Ginny is just gonna think that I'm mixed, but isn't that stupid?
My suspicion is that Ginny...
(going to eat)
Reading People's Minds
So, why does Tim Burton annoy me so much - like people read his mind about what he knows about my life.
"Gossip" Girl
So, now, everyone knows about my personal life. I have a fear that there was no way out of it though I really do not know why it became so caught on solely. I mean, just go online and run across a blog sometime. I have a freedom to talk about my life, to "gossip," nothing wrong, as long is it's not ill-intended.
Don't worry, I was never popular with popular people, and my friends weren't.
Don't worry, I was never popular with popular people, and my friends weren't.
Honorary Denizen
So, if my dad's heritage was all from Florida, I would be welcome, or from California. Or 1 of the places I listed, not Pennsylvania.
"Born and Bred in the Briar Patch"
Something funny is my friend from Florida came over to the New Orleans area and she secretly in a cute way that's kinda funny to speculate|spectacle on made a splash in the area and seems like she's from there kinda. Hm. This could be serious. I think Tim Burton knows. I think the whole world knows about my 2 old best friends who wouldn't talk to me anymore and who were both mean to me maybe it's okay and maybe it's justified to me. It did make me mad just because I had no one else I could get to know as well. I was mad otherwise. At the younger 1 I fought back, like talked to her in a mimicy, nasty, cutting way it felt, more just was nagging, though. The other 1 scared me. I think the other 1 yea asked if I was "gay." I think the other 1 wanted to call me a nigger because her mom is Lithuanian and her dad is all British.
Speaking of the title of my post, as I was walking worried that the Country Bear Jamboree just isn't funny anymore and before it was like I mean it knocked me out! I could not stand coming here later on! It seemed like it was made after the New Orleans area. Maybe it was specifically spirited after the city I lived in and maybe like for example Pearl River possibly in some way. I mean, there's also this place called like Bugaloosa a professor of English in honors in college in New Orleans talked about, had a small house, showed pictures of his granddaughter doing violin I think, had a maybe like greyhound type dog but not a greyhound, which I read a kid's book on a big fat messy-looking witch had 1 and ate it and was gonna ask to eat the horse of the guy, too, I mean he had the dog, maybe found this dunno where probably in the nation's oldest continuing city.
Speaking of the title of my post, as I was walking worried that the Country Bear Jamboree just isn't funny anymore and before it was like I mean it knocked me out! I could not stand coming here later on! It seemed like it was made after the New Orleans area. Maybe it was specifically spirited after the city I lived in and maybe like for example Pearl River possibly in some way. I mean, there's also this place called like Bugaloosa a professor of English in honors in college in New Orleans talked about, had a small house, showed pictures of his granddaughter doing violin I think, had a maybe like greyhound type dog but not a greyhound, which I read a kid's book on a big fat messy-looking witch had 1 and ate it and was gonna ask to eat the horse of the guy, too, I mean he had the dog, maybe found this dunno where probably in the nation's oldest continuing city.
Something in Common
Something I have in common with Ellen DeGeneres is I don't identify with like more early on living in the New Orleans area more in like my confidence. I was more connected with the world, technically.
"The Question"
I was wondering why when my family moved from Southeastern and Northeastern Florida to the New Orleans area that my dad got fatter and then looked like so stony, you know? I kinda looked like a rock, but my eyes didn't crystallize with it. They used to go haywire.
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