Mad

My mom was out eating and I just wanted to keep on my ear plugs, maybe thought it would be my dad, who can't control himself around me, like Tim Burton, and I want a life and I want to live forever, and I felt like I could be young forever.  I felt like other beings existed, I was having a lot of fun..

I was upset, and I found it was because she wanted to do something because I didn't feel like taking out my ear plugs.  She just isn't tactual, claims I burnt out and did something at 11, it feels, and just makes my life shit.  Also, she acts like I have to **** my dad.  I was just mad that she keeps thinking I "am" like him all of a sudden when that wasn't what I said.  People keep going ahead of me and doing things thinking I am not nice when they just say I am too nice.  I don't think that's anything like me.  I do what I'm supposed to, and people have an option to react to me or leave me alone and let me succeed.  So, if she's mean, I just say she's shit.  I mean, my parents used to act nice.  Their only thing is when like you get better from feeling like shit, but my brother keeps wanting to think he's better than me and I guess that's just not something that "is" me.

Mad

So, I was thinking okay if I can't stay in the Voice for the Actor class, the other class Ginny teaches this semester, at Valencia..  My enrollment at Seminole doesn't work, and 2 or 3 times over a period of over a year or 2, Seminole has not gotten transcripts from 1 or more maybe main schools.  I was just upset because people are acting like it was planned and isn't because of me losing Florida residency and my dad not feeling like paying for more than 2 classes.

He paid the 1st day, but then he told my mom to take me out after and I don't know why.  No, I don't think we got in any fights.  I came home happy.  I think he paid for all of it because he thought I wouldn't listen and wasn't attending the class.  He borrowed money, and they paid.

Also, I went home and went online and then went to bed on the couch without even taking out my contacts.  Now, my right eye doesn't see as well, feels kinda dead but like it's recovering from something, like the stress.  It feels like I have a fuzzy contact on it, was just in the bathtub for 3½ hours.  I saw the bedroom door was closed and the microwave was on.  I'm kinda upset because I talked about seeing the spas with my mom, and it's because my mom used to work there.  I just don't go into shit like that.  Also, now, might be the time to add she wants to take class from Ginny.  My mom and dad have a problem.  They are suggesting in some way I may want to be like my brother and that I'm just lucky and now don't deserve it and that my brother is my twin.  They are the 1s who are more like my brother.  Ginny is just gonna think that I'm mixed, but isn't that stupid?

My suspicion is that Ginny...

(going to eat)

Reading People's Minds

So, why does Tim Burton annoy me so much - like people read his mind about what he knows about my life.

"Gossip" Girl

So, now, everyone knows about my personal life.  I have a fear that there was no way out of it though I really do not know why it became so caught on solely.  I mean, just go online and run across a blog sometime.   I have a freedom to talk about my life, to "gossip," nothing wrong, as long is it's not ill-intended.

Don't worry, I was never popular with popular people, and my friends weren't.

Glitch

So, what's this people being flattered by their younger siblings?  I grew up tested to be like my brother and I don't like who he is, just think he's nice like everyone else.  He is the opposite of me, does not look European.  People think I'm only worth it because I'm young.  He acts like I have the same problems.  He sometimes seemed gregarious and when he was very little, like before he was in school a long time ... this 1 time in a school play he was like messing around with our mom, was sick and didn't want to do it, was 3, was Joseph, the hero, for the Nativity.  Why does that sound like me?  ':[  I can't say I was always cook before he was born nor in pre-school.  I only looked cute kinda the day before.  It's funny, yes, he was pampered more as being right, which was probably bad for him.  People acted like in college like it didn't matter emotionally.  People think I'm like puppeted to be all that I am.  He's like total shit to me.  I'm serious!  :0  He doesn't even seem human, does not think white at all, is just a machine and slightly pleasure object.  I'm not saying I think he deserves to be mistreated nor that he's bad, worse than anyone else.  I don't appreciate people thinking they're more European when they look like him to me.  I don't know what's been going on.  I've been trying to get on my track in life, despite what the whole world is like compared to me.  What about Johnny Depp and Lily Rose?  Aren't they something, not just some mistake, some error, some glitch like in the game?